MOOORE More? My, You're Thirsty!
This is turning into something of a rogue's gallery, but on the plus side, aren't we lucky to have so many friends and acquaintances coming along to help us? Here's another small selection of people you might encounter at one of our gigs...
DEPUTY DAN LEGHORN:
Deputy Leghorn is responsible for holding up the law in Cranberry Falls, home of The Grand Ole Ocean Spray where Donny and Dolly host their famous hoedown. It's a dirty job, but someone's gotta do it, and Deputy Leghorn is always ready to get down and dirty with the best of 'em. In his day, Deputy Dan was the finest shot in the whole of Kentucky, but he maintains you should never kill a mockingbird. They taste like crap, apparently, so he sees it as a waste of good bullets...
ONE-EYED STINKY WILLY:
"Stinky" Willy is a prospector and moonshine runner. He lost his eye as a child when his catapult went off half-cocked. He lives in a cabin in the hills, and while he occasionally takes a dip in Beaver Creek can be quite forgetful when it comes to personal hygiene. Alone in his cabin with just his equally stinky dog, Ol' Yella, for company he entertains himself by writing poetry. His best known works are The Ballad of Digger Blue and a triptych of filthy limericks about a man from Kentucky...
CHARLES AND SARA MIDDLETON:
Charles and Sara are central characters in "Tunbridge Wells: The Musical!", having recently relocated to Tunbridge Wells from Barnet, North London, to start a property renovation. Charles works in advertising, while Sara is a micro-entrepreneur running her own pop-up vintage boutique and life coaching enterprises. Sara also dabbles in art, painting portraits of pets for family and friends. Charles and Sara are happily married with one cockerpoo...
BARRY PICKLE:
Barry started his stage career as part of the double-act Cheese and Pickle, but since the death of his partner Paul Cheese in a tragic shooting accident at the home of famed hamster eater Freddie Starr has been working solo. Barry always dreamed of being a standup comedian but is a martyr to his feet so has never developed his act beyond five minutes of material. He's currently saving to buy a stool and a copy of Harry Hill's Big Book of Jokes...
KERNEL SAUNDERS:
Chicken and GF3 team mascot. The kernel got his name from his love of corn kernels - his favourite food until the fateful night he attended a pecking party in Peckham hosted by Jonathon Livingstone Seagull and Walter Pidgeon, where he was introduced to the delights of KFC discards discovered in a local park. Despite all efforts to wean him off and curtail his cannibalistic tendencies he remains firmly addicted to the stuff...
It's astonishing just how big our little production is, isn't it? If you're still hungry for info use the button below to find out about the backroom boys and girls who help keep our show on the road...